Help Line

Today's CleanLaugh - "Help Line"

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Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get
through; can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

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Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number
for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that
I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
before cleaning.
Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have
to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the
spelling is correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the
'B' fell
off."

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
on."

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

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Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow!
How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that
I need it.
So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back
again?"